This & That, Ceci et Cela

The Religious policeman contains the satirical reflections of Alhamedi on his dear nation Saudi Arabia and the superstars within it, especially the Muttawas/Muttaween. The latter are religious policemen/zealots; you know, the not-so-friendly dudes that may harass you for not wearing an abaya thick/long enough in Al-Akariyah mall, or whip you for daring to be within 10 metre radius of a women who isn’t your sister or your wife. Today Alhamedi expounds on a book fair and discussion panel that took place in Riyadh. Apparently, the muttaween superstars crashed the discussion panel and naturally had something to say to people like the council member who recently tried to push to allow women to drive (silly man, whatever was he thinking?). My best part:
[ ... “Do you want to face God on judgment day with women's driving next to your name?”

Dr Al-Zulfa apparently did not reply, so let me pick up that question on his behalf. When God asks Dr Al-Zulfa what he did in his earthly life, and the Doctor replies "I tried to make it legal for women to drive in Saudi Arabia", then God will reply....

"Good lad, come and sit down here. Glass of wine? Bacon sandwich? I never banned them, you know, it was that lot! Anyway, I'm just starting to watch the World Cup. Who do you fancy in Group C?

Whereas, when the leader of the "Imam University Gang" turns up (and may God grant that his journey to Paradise is not delayed any longer than necessary), and he tells God that "I made sure that the women of Saudi Arabia kept their modesty by wearing head-to-toe acrylic and always being accompanied by a male relative and were never led into temptation by being able to drive", then God will reply....

"Miserable ugly git. And don't come too near me, your breath smells like something just died.....oh you just did, ha, ha, ha! Right, go down to the cellar and fetch the Doctor and me half a dozen of the '88 Merlot, we've got some serious drinking to do. Then when you've done that, pop another twelve rashers of bacon under the grill. And after that, you can go and do all the laundry for Mother Theresa and her nuns...."

Because God is good, and just, and She has a real problem with people who are mean to women. ]

See the complete post at his website.

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