This & That, Ceci et Cela

Someone remarked that it was amazing to hear how many people think that it is only the wives’/girlfriends’ business/problem when a man is cheating on her. I.e. Shouldn’t we hold people responsible for their actions because their actions are wrong even when they are hurting someone other than ourselves?

And I am always amazed to hear how others want to blur the boundaries between a person’s public responsibility and their private domain. I am not condoning cheating in any way, I’m merely pointing out where the right to accountability lies. If a person engages in perceivably negative behaviour, whose problem it is depends on who is within the boundaries of the responsibility in question. E.g. if a person commits a crime that could affect any member of the public e.g. mugging/explosives, he/she is held publicly accountable and punished if caught.

If a person cheats, that is something within their personal/home boundary. People affected = wife and family. If you are a close friend/relative to a cheated-on wife, you may be indirectly affected and comment because you are privy to her sorrow. He may be indirectly accountable to you depending on how close you are e.g. wife’s sister. But not in the case of people you don’t know. You may know who
John Doe is as your local MP/congressman, but if you are not a personal friend of his/his family, then you do NOT know him personally.
As the latter is the case, how can it be any of your/our business if a politician cheats on his wife? Do you know what’s going on in their marriage? Are you a part of it? Is there any clause in their marriage license that specifies input from you/me on whatever marital problems they might encounter? Are John Doe/his wife invited to reciprocate by giving their input on your marital life? Other secondary issues like what if they have an open marriage, etc. may even exist but are beside the point simply because it IS none of our business.

On another note, adultery does not equal a lack of respect for women. That a man may cheat does automatically not mean he thinks women are 2nd class citizens. Likewise I’m sure there are men who may not have cheated but think women should be supressed. Some insist we should be able to hold politicians to higher standards morally e.g. on cheating. If a lie detector test were issued to all congessmen/politicians with a single question of whether they’ve cheated/not, how many do you think would pass? I daresay you’d have nobody left to vote for.